Don't take any more tests to try and get evidence that you're an okay person. Stop saying you're 85% to blame for the marital breakdown. Stop denigrating yourself. It's an inauthentic form of humility that keeps failing to placate her. Hold your head up.

This woman is making it clear that she cannot be placated. Stop banging your head against a wall. It just increases her disrespect for you. Stop suggesting counseling/therapy. Your wife loves being the one who was "wronged." This is a sick head game she is playing. Stop playing it with her.

When she talks, listen courteously, but don't keep the conversation going when it's all about how you have been the bad guy. Have more respect for yourself. Don't keep getting baited into these verbal back and forths that serve no good purpose. If she is disinterested in being intimate, then start being just as disinterested yourself. She's not making a good faith effort to resolve anything. When a woman is this cold for this long, she has already checked out of the marriage. She is enjoying tormenting you. If she wants to go, stop begging her to stay.

This will be her 2nd marital failure. Giving up on marriage is becoming a habit with her. Next time she mentions divorce, tell her to do whatever she wants to do. Then walk away. She gets off on these stupid conversations that have gotten circular and go nowhere. Stop taking the bait. Her whining and complaining will just go on forever.

Quietly get legal advice on how to best protect your interests. You need your own attorney. When you start maintaining your own dignity, she might actually take more interest in reconciling. If not, accept what you can't change.

I'm sorry for your daughter. You want her to grow up in an intact family with parents who love her and love each other. If her mom doesn't share that goal, you can't make it happen. It's sad. Sometimes, you have to cut your losses and move on. If your wife can't love you, find a woman who can. Cut the cord first.