I have always had difficulty thinking of my body or of having a body, which seemed gross. I actually feel really cringy and uncomfortable with the word. Growing up I remember learning that others seemed to naturally employ this concept of body. It seemed so weird and kinda gross they were all okay with that, and with the word, but I mostly avoided thinking about it. I was able to think about parts of myself at a time but they didn’t really exist in relationship or connection to other parts. Sometimes I felt connected to the parts but sometimes I would think, “these hands are doing what you asked” or “these feet are bringing me somewhere” (I often looked at my feet while walking). I once said to my MD, when he pressed me on it, “these hands will not hurt this body!” I was so mad at the time. I am dissociative sometimes. I fog out, float, disappear, feel disconnected and/or feel pretty drugged out without taking anything. I do not have alters. But for some reason thinking about other peoples’ young child alters makes me feel really sick and fuzzy. It’s actually getting hard to write now. I just wondered if others with dissociative disorders feel this way. I’ve literally never asked anyone about it.