So sorry I haven’t checked in. As you can imagine, I was IP. Got out yesterday. If the first trip was an exercise in excellent care, the second was the EXACT OPPOSITE. I got threatened by a paranoid schizophrenic woman my first night there so I was sleeping facing the door with it closed so I could hear if she came in. And then somehow she became my bestie while I was in that facility.
The people there were very sick, mainly psychotic, and no one really seemed to care. Sedation station, I’d say. The dr put me on 350mg regular seroquel simply because “150mg is such a small dose” in his words. Not that I needed it, just because he felt like it. When he met with me he said I should do ECT and he would transfer me to another facility, one I’ve been in before and know is very professional and offers good quality of care, so of course I said yes. No intention of doing ECT but I figured if it got me out I’d go.
They helped me out. At first I was afraid I wasn’t going home at all but rather to a 30 day residential treatment facility, which I didn’t even know they had for non addict adults. But I responded well to the vraylar and the whole other mess of meds I’m on now.
I’m back in my program and trying my best to remain in a good space. I started journaling in the hospital and will continue once I find the damn journal I bought years ago. It’s very pretty.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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