But I do go hiking, skiing, visiting family, talking.. I live in a damn good place - Good life... I should focus on the more positive things. I just can't stand the way my mother has acted. It's almost unforgivable. I'm always on guard for that nonsense. I'm broken down by the way she dealt with her trauma.

She had cancer and the stories I hear her tell her friends about the way her ex left, tricking her into not giving any money from the lottery, walking away and not looking back - Just cold as ****.

She says that I had it worse and I think that she had it worse.

I will stop writing.. ENOUGH!.. I have to sleep. Ignore me..