What lead to my reaction last night
Yesterday my girlfriend told me it was "very" important that she only goes to "one" aa meeting a day. In the same conversation she told me that she wanted more freedom and that the following day would be difficult to make time to talk to me. The next afternoon(today) I get a text that she wants to go to an al anon meeting out of the blue. I was grateful that I got the invite. 5:30pm finally came and we joined the meeting together. It felt like a healthy time to be together. She announces herself in the meeting. Her camera is off. Out of nowhere she drops out of the meeting with no text or explanation. I Then asked her if she was going to another meeting. She said yes and sent me a zoom link. I went into the zoom room and did not find her name. I checked again and did not see her there. I may have made a mistake but I did not see her name in the room. The time that she got off work was 5pm and it was now 7:30pm. I had asked her "babe - what are you doing? I didn't see you in either the meeting. You said you wanted more freedom and that today would be difficult to talk. Can you please call me?" I tried to call and her phone went to voice mail 2 times when I called. She said she was talking to her daughter. I feel like it didn't have to be difficult to make time with her as it was. Our phone cut off time is 8pm and she didn't call till about 7:20pm. It felt like she did all this on purpose because she had already gone to her morning meeting(her one meeting per day) but she was unavailable and due to the fact that she suddenly changed her mind and wanted to go to a second meeting at night. I tried to explain myself and the bottom line is that I didn't trust her, and she let me know. I was in the dog house and went to bed spinning out on what I had done wrong. I feel terrible about my actions. I want to get better and I feel like I'm reading into what she is saying too much. I can let go. I can not try to read into what she is doing and why. I can save this relationship by my reactions and detachment to her behavior.