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Old Apr 15, 2022, 11:22 AM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover View Post
It took me 12 years to realize I was being abused. It took 5 more years of "working on things" for me to realize that I deserved to be happier and 4 more years to prepare myself to leave. It turns out all the positive changes I saw were a cover. His true self emerged from time to time but I wrote it off as a bad day. Until it wasn't just a bad day argument.

Here I am 10 years after all that and I'm always going to be in emotional healing mode because there isn't a magic wand to undo the damage.
Wow. That's quite a journey through abuse that you endured and tolerated. Thank you for sharing this personal information.

Given what you just wrote, it makes me wonder if the positive changes I've seen in my husband are just a cover. It makes me wonder if that bad day we had recently will become more of a regular, reoccurring pattern. It makes me wonder if I am fooling myself into believing he's made positive changes.

The therapist this morning exhibited very black and white thinking about my relationship and she jumped to all sorts of conclusions without knowing the full picture or all the details. It makes me wonder if I can ever find a good therapist for myself.
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