I can relate to your job-anxiety Starlingflock because I am going through the same situation as you are. While I like the contract work that I do it's not ideal because it's not permanent. I recently accepted a new job for great pay and after 4 days at the organization, realized that it had poor leadership and a very toxic work culture.

My previous experiences at companies with poor leadership and toxic work culture has taught me that unless the poor leadership improves, the toxic work culture and change management policies won't improve. So....I resigned. And, it turns out, I'm not the first new employee to walk away as quickly as I did. That's what current employees joked with me about this past week, "Well, I hope you last longer than the previous person in your role did!"

I had already had one conversation on Wednesday with my director about my concerns at this organization. To avoid facing up to the problems, she is in denial and refuses to acknowledge the problems I brought to her attention (that she is likely well aware of, but chooses to ignore b/c she's stuck in her job due to her attachment to her high salary).

Knowing that she isn't going to change her leadership style (she manages one center and is an assistant director at another center) or make improvements with the work culture (there are no interpersonal boundaries - everyone gossips about everyone out in the open; the preK teachers yell at the kids and throw objects like books and toys at the kids who are high energy, or takes the 3,4,5 year olds to an underground parking garage to "play" during inclement weather...just a few of the red flags I witnessed there this week... I knew that if I stayed in that new role, I would become PART of the toxic work culture and that my name would be attached to any and all problems associated with that organization and I would not be able to move forward (per a letter of recommendation from the director or another supervisor).

Do I hate giving up the great money? Sure. But there are many people in leadership roles who should not be bc they lack the competencies to face up to conflicts and challenges that happen under their supervision. In short, they ignore problems b/c they don't want to be held responsible by their peers (other leaders) or their employees.

So, I would urge you to do what I did: take an inventory of what you like/dislike about your current job and compare that to this new opportunity that you haven't started yet. Do a six-month inventory via a list of what you can control and what you can't, in your life and then determine which job (your current semi-toxic job or your new has-potential-to-be-more-toxic based on your conversation with your new manager) you could endure for the next six months without your life being really disrupted.

For example, I knew that if I stayed at this new job I had for the past 4 days, not only would the director ignore my requests for change, but she would try to enforce her policies on me in my new role that I have an ethical problem with. So, I knew over the next six months, I would be very unhappy and have wasted half a year at a job that doesn't serve my long-term goals for me personally or professionally. I can always make ends meet. But I refuse to compromise my values anymore at age 51, for leaders who are TERRIBLE organizational leaders.

Employment is a two way street. If you accept a job and your leader wasn't transparent with you upfront in your interview about the current issues or challenges in your new role, then you've been lied to and manipulated and taken advantage of. And if you are not in an equal leadership role, then you can't expect your leader to make the changes that you see and think are necessary for a healthier work culture for yourself and your peers.

Remember that. Employment is a two way street. Don't expect your leader/supervisor to care about your well-being. Their job is to fill vacant roles with people and their empathy stops after you sign your W2 for tax purposes. The leaders who do invest in the well-being of their work culture and employees are few and far between.

Only you can determine if this new job opportunity is an improvement from your current job. If you can't say that it is a 100% improvement (that should be your criteria for new jobs) then you should not leave your current job. If there are RED FLAGS then you need to leave/decline the job offer. Red flags in work environments don't change. Problems at work places will just continue until new leadership is hired to implement change management. IF that new leadership wants to make positive changes....