I am not schizoid but I do have children. They are a challenge to get around when trying to deal with my problems. I will be having a freak out and really need to be alone but will have to pull myself together when they walk into the house. In some ways I suppose that is good but I can't help but wonder if I could have time and space to myself could I work through this garbage faster? Also I am constantly watching them, frightened that I may mess them up the way I was messed up. I watch my daughter struggle with her anxiety and know that I did that to her. I know I abused her in the beginning of her life because I was sick. I am a good mother now but I know what I have done and hurt for both my kids. My son has a contanst need to be acknowleged. He has inturrupted me 3 times during the writing of this post. Once for a hug. He is 13 and still seeks hugs from throughout the day to make sure everything is ok. I worry.
Zen