L, I'm finally starting to figure out that what I had been thinking awhile back is very true. That this next part of my psychological growth that I embarked upon in mid-December can be done only inside myself.... and that growth includes working through all the feelings that have come up after leaving therapy, now that I'm finally actually allowing those feelings to come... I did for a couple weeks after our last session, but then the overtime at work started in early January and at that point I pushed it all away cuz I didn't the energy for it while working so many hours. Anyway coming back to see you again now like part of me wants to do, would be an attempt to avoid doing this bit of my work. So I'm going to continue writing through those feelings, and I hereby promise myself that if I'm still also struggling with the whole turning 60/facing my own mortality thing by the time my birthday gets here in July, then I can call you. Or someone else. But for now it's gotta be just me.