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Apr 16, 2022, 02:38 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
Hello! I feel human again as I slept on and off most of yesterday. I really needed that although I couldn’t afford it in terms of getting ready for Easter. I’m calm this morning though and feeling strong so it’s all good. I was too sick to see my daughter yesterday so we’ll meet next Sunday instead.
My mother and brother are both in decline. I don’t know how many Easters I have left with them. I’m not going to let some controlling, aggressive hot head (my sister) keep me from Easter. I will be civil of course but I’ll not put up with nonsense. My sister brings over a meal every once in awhile and throws fits on how things are running here or when she is asked to help out like the other night when mom’s car broke down at 10:00 pm across state lines.
I’m doing well with my plan of building up my life instead of putting all my eggs in one basket. I won’t or can’t take my therapist’s rather firm advice at this time. Should the friendship go south and I get hurt, that’s on me.
I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.  |
You have my most loving support regarding your decision about Easter. Hold your head up and carry on!
I kinda know how you feel, what you're going through. I started caring for my (mentally and physically ill) mom when I was 8 years old. No joke...I'd go with her to her (many) doctor's appointments, etc., etc. I made sure she was cared for. And that continued through my teens, on through my married life and while also raising my children. MOM came first. She demanded to. My 2 much older sisters were nowhere to be seen. It wasn't that I didn't love my mom, because I definitely did (and I miss her so much). But I spent my life dragging my kids along with me to take mom to appointments, hospital stays, on and on. Grocery shopping. Changin light bulbs. You name it. All of it. We'd see my sisters on holidays - but I'd be the one to make sure Mom had a nice plate of food, was comfortably seated, had her emotional needs met.
Finally, when I was 38 I came unglued. My middle sister had major substance use issues and was unable to step up. But my oldest sis had a solid marriage, no money troubles, her life was secure, more so than mine. I blew up at her and told her she MUST help me with our mother. After that, she and I worked together to take care of our mom. But 4 years later, Mom had a stroke and died. To this day I hold a degree of resentment. For one thing, I had put Mom before my husband, which caused marital problems. But my mother insisted on being first. No question about it - and I was well trained.
Sheesh, I didn't mean to launch into a rant. I guess I'm just saying I'm behind you - enjoy your Easter celebration and to hell with your sister's stinkin' attitude.
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