I'm really sorry.

I think your gut feeling makes sense, like he was being impulsive, saying things in anger that he doesn't actually mean.

I personally am trying to deal both with difficulties like you (probably not the same diagnosis but it's still a lot of stress and difficulties) and with the fact lately that everyone I've known and cared about, and who also seem to have cared about me, is going to say things in anger like that. It just seems inevitable....human beings - us included - really are fallible. I just want to find strategies for stopping bad drama before it goes too far like that.

Also I want to do that because, due to my extra stress and current difficulties, I do find it harder to let go of and forget what was said in anger, I think in the past I dealt with it more easily, pushed back more easily before drama would escalate too much, and ironically enough, it all somehow didn't escalate as much, or if it did, I was more able to get over it faster. I may have been forgetting about it all too easily too, I don't know, but now it's like the negativity from it lingers around a long time. So I want to avoid such issues in future with people. And I want to not have to stay with the negative memory for so long, it does make my stress even worse.

I think the fact that your husband did apologise afterwards is already something. The people I have in mind did not try to apologise or not easily....even people who are otherwise religious.

I'm going to open a thread on this topic though, I think if I said more here it would end up hijacking your thread. Don't know how much of what I've said is relatable, I just felt like I could relate to you about people getting nasty after trying to help and give support.

I really hope you two can work it out to not escalate things between you two while the stress is so high for both of you. I understand he was doing bad behaviours before but also that he's worked on it a lot, and that's great and he should of course continue that work.