I used to really really really struggle with feeling anger toward my Ex T. In the beginning. I remember very early on her saying she would do something and forgetting. I couldn't tell her that it had upset me. It built up and built up inside me for weeks if not months, and in the end I managed to tell her I was angry with her. She was, this time and always, very accepting of this emotion (in person!) And actually almost encouraged me to feel it, to be open to it, to bring it to session and to work it through with her. She never once got defensive. She told me it made her sad that she had messed up, or sorry that she had got things wrong etc, and always apologised if she felt it warranted.

The only time this wasn't the case was via email. We had quite a lot of email correspondence over the years, it was a part of the process for me, but when I wrote to her and expressed anger towards her in those emails she always (only ever did it twice I think!) shut the communication down, saying that she would be there at our next session to talk about it with me. No kind words, no normal T. Very odd indeed. I brought it up once, but that conversation didn't go like our normal ones either, so I dropped it. I figured she can't be 'perfect', and this was one trait I could live with.