I had the electricians here today. For the first 90 minutes it was just me and this one guy and i made a joke and could tell he really liked it. It was sort of intimate, just he and i in my home together. When his partner showed up he started in with all these corny "dad jokes" -- like he was trying to impress me.

He's probably way younger than i and i am silly to be excited about him but i can't help it. He was really likeable and skilled and affable. I guess having a little flirtation goes a long way with me now that i am pretty much an invalid.

Anyways, it was very pleasant and i am glad to have had such a nice experience in these dark days.

I figured out my depression got so intense over the weekend because of the Easter holiday and feeling tremendously lonely and left-out. Now that it's passed i feel much better and have decided not to pursue the Wellbutrin after all and have emailed my doctor same. I just feel like being quiet and comfortably numb. I don't want any chemical joy. And neither does my wallet.