L feels proud of me when I express my anger at her. She says it's a relief and makes her feel part of my team. She says she can't help with what she doesn't know. Same with she can't be sorry if she doesn't know what for. And she won't apologize until she understands the situation enough because she doesn't want to falsely apologize. I'm learning that at least with her, if I express my anger, the misunderstanding or rupture is more quickly resolved.

As for normal anger, that too she is proud of me for expressing. She knows I'm good at turning it around and taking it out on myself. Or like my H does: he gets angry at me for being angry at him... L has encouraged me to speak my anger, tell her my fantasies, and even start to use curse words.