Again, thanks for all your good wishes.

Discussion with my mother last weekend almost degenerated into an argument because she started to repeat all the angst against my aunt and couldn't understand why my cousin wasn't making any progress. Failure to understand that these things take time and we may never know what triggered her actions.

Mother is now using all sorts of excuses for not visiting my aunt, from not being able to do any housework for her (aunt still recovering from fall earlier this year), to "I haven't been invited" (that's just how her mother used to behave). Then she contradicts everything she's just said.

Would like to know how my brother views all of this and whether she behaves like this with him. As we're estranged, I'm never likely to find out unless my aunt knows.

I can now understand how people may feel they can't handle life, especially when the problems are inflicted on them by other people.