She didn't build empathy, understanding or trust with you. She came in all guns blazing, and she was wrong. This is not the way to start a therapeutic relationship.
As for your husband
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It's possible that with a better therapist, these behaviors can be addressed through therapy
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I do agree that a good therapist can make a heck of a difference... but primarily one needs to want to change and actively work on that. Just like you are working hard on yourself, he needs to want to change himself.. and not give up at the first hurdle.
With a better therapist, I am hoping that *you* get the support you need in this dynamic.