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Apr 19, 2022, 06:44 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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I appreciate the input I've received and thank you!
The thing with CBT is that I first heard about it in my late teens. I went to a "rap group" (showing my age, there  ), a bunch of friendly hippies older than I was sitting in a large circle with big throw pillows, on the floor of an old Victorian house. The facilitator encouraged the group members to read about and practice CBT. If I correctly recall, Aaron Beck originated the practice. I delved into it and got into practicing it with the same so-so success I have with it now. As for bipolar disorder and anxiety, CBT seemed to contribute to the problems, because I felt I was failing by not being able to succeed at CBT. That caused me to be anxious, depressed, and angry.
In my later 20's to mid-30's I practiced Buddhism intensively. I spent much time at Green Gulch Farm/Zen Center on the coast, just north of San Francisco. An absolutely truly magnificent place. My therapist back then was a practitioner of Zen Buddhism. I really got into it, and still use many of those wonderful techniques to this day. I once sat an 8 hour silent meditation (with one short break for a silent snack) - that was powerful. Like WOW powerful. It changed my life. But I sat zazen every day, usually twice per day. So yes, Buddhism has been a tremendous influence in my life, especially breath practice.
So I could go on with "credentials" - but my point is that when I walk into a therapist's office and they are all excited about teaching CBT to me it's disappointing. For me CBT is literally 42 years old in my life. I figure that if it would have been amazingly helpful for me it would have, by now. And like I say - I do obtain some value from CBT, but since my early 30's I haven't hit on the therapeutic technique(s) that I feel are as helpful as medication is.
Anyway. I called the new clinic and made an appointment for May 2nd to see a therapist there. It's so close to my home, I'll probably keep the appointment, mostly out of curiosity. A few days later I'm scheduled with my current T. And yes - she's an angel, a beautiful human being. And we do have a strong bond. All along, though, I have had a strong feeling that she's quite intrigued with me, but not quite sure what to do with me. I just don't know if there's anything more I can learn from her than I already have.
I know one thing. If I do keep the appt. with a (probably not, but potentially) new therapist, I am asking questions! I will be "interviewing" her before I tell her anything but the basics about myself. I want to know where she comes from, is she is/has she been married, kids or no...etc. I'm not interested in yet another therapist who is swooning over New Age culture. I have protection bells sprinkled with lilac essential oil hanging in my house and I love them, they're great, they're beautiful, I don't need a therapist to tall me about how I should hang protection bells in my home to help keep bad childhood memories away. 
**~*Zafu cushions with golden mandalas on them all around~**~*
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