Dear T,

I'm sorry for being difficult right now. For wanting to just sit there and not interact in any way. Thank you for agreeing that I could put that letter in your mailbox. It might explain a thing or two or maybe all a bit. Sorry I didn't answer your question yesterday. I don't know how to say things. The worst things, in all directions. They are unspeakable. Thank you for bearing with me. For not pushing. It wouldn't help. I'm glad you seem to see that, too.
I want you to know I called in sick today. I know I said I could work, but I'm not up to it, after all. It just doesn't matter anymore. Like I said, I don't care right now. I don't care about work, about uni, my messed up family, the people in my life, my future, nothing matters. I cry, but I don't feel it.
It's like the Lexapro took away the last feeling I had - fear. I see why they say it can make things worse initially. It's like the fear and the anger kept me going. No worries though, I'll gather up the pieces and mold them back together, like I always do. I screw it up every time, but I guess that's life.