Today was really productive. I said I wasn't feeling good because of the stomach pain and nausea I've had and how I went to the doctor and he prescribed some meds. We talked about the difference between anxiety and hunger and how I can't often tell the two apart and how I think I'm just anxious all the time. We talked about that for a bit.

Then I told her I was having a lot of memories about something that happened almost 15 years ago. We didn't go into details but I mentioned reading a book that had triggered it. Then I mentioned wanting to go IP last week but there wasn't any reason for me to go. I just wanted to go. Finally I said I wanted to go to the hospital just to get restrained but then I used my weighted blanket and it helped and I was told by another therapist that when I feel like that, its a sensory issue. And she like immediatly knew what I was talking about and asked if I wanted to know her expirenece and I said yeah and she said that she worked with autistic kids who'd act out a lot but then the staff figured out they just wanted the pressure from being restrained so they found other coping skills for them that involved that pressue. And I said I did the exact same thing when I was a teenager but I didn't know it was a sensory issue until I was told 2 years ago by my transference T when I mentioned my weighted blankets helped me deal with the feelings. My therapist then asked a bit about my autism history.

Then after that we talked about going back to work and how I was worried because I looked like a guy on the outside but I felt more non binary on the inside and I didn't want to get called out or anything at work for being into fashion and modeling shows and knowing more about the fashion world then I do about sports and stuff. It was just a pretty deep session. I was cold and piling pillows on top of me and she didn't seem to mind. My mom is sick though and didn't tell me. And was in the waiting room so I'm hoping I don't get whatever it is she has because my therapist will majorly freak out.