I had therapy today and for the first time I felt like she got me and didn't think I was weird. I mentioned struggling with wanting to go IP last week and I said "sometimes I often want to go to the hospital just to be restrained but when I use my weighted blankets I feel better and I was told this is a sensory thing because of my autism". She didn't say anything for a moment and then said "yes it is, do you want to hear my expierence?" And I was like "yeah sure." And she explained to me that when she worked with autistic kids the same kids would become aggresive all the time so they could get restrained and then the staff realized they were just acting out because they were craving the pressure of being restrained. So the staff found other outlets for them. I told her thats excatly what it was like for me as a teenager but I didn't know it was a sensory thing until my transference therapist mentioned it 2 years ago. Then she asked a bit about my autism diagnosis and asked me if I had a weighted vest. I told her I did. She told me I should use it becauase it will really help. Honestly I never wanted to tell her I owned a weighted vest because I thought she'd think I was weird. But I think after the whole IP weighted blanket conversation she's realizing my autism and sensory issues are a bigger thing then she realized. I know when I mentioned the weighted blanket hospital thing to my transference T she said to me "ok, maybe this is a bigger part of things then we orginally thought." But its nice to not feel like a creep to my therapist anymore and to feel understood.