I’m afraid I’m getting dropped because I said it was too overwhelming for me to do both therapy and my full time job. When I started therapy I was unemployed. Now I’m saying that I’m overwhelmed with how therapy has me feeling my emotions so much that it’s hard to function for the next 24-48 hours.

My therapist’s response was that this is just how therapy is and if I can’t do this and manage my job maybe I need to take a break so I can earn a living. But then she said we should take some time to see how we both feel before moving forward. Why would we need to see how we both feel? It just sounded like she was saying she might not want to see me any more. She mentioned how I had been seeing her for over a year and if I’m not getting the results I want, I should find a new therapist. Which is a process I really don’t want to go through again.

It’s crazy because this is the second time we’ve had a conversation like this where I mention my struggles with therapy and she gets defensive and brings up that I should quit or take a break when that’s not what I want. I just wanted to talk about how hard it is for me sometimes and I think taking a break is not the solution to making it easier for me.

This is now making me wonder if it is time to see a new T who I can be open about my therapy struggles with who won’t get defensive about them. I’m just really upset at my T and I know I can never mention it. I’m not ready to say goodbye forever to her though.