There is pretty intense depression in my marriage as well. I came online because of my own, seeking out help. I do it usually by getting some space away from my wife for an hour or two to clear my head and journal/ write, so I am upstairs right now alone. I have explored Codependents Anonymous and/ or Adult Children of Dysfunctional families to find like minds/ people going through similar situations. The important thing is to not feel alone. I need support in grieving too. My sister died two and a half months ago unexpected heart attack.