Thank you so much Comrademoomoo.... There is a lot there for me to consider and think about. Some really useful viewpoints and thoughts, thank you. I'm not sure I'm going to manage to respond to all the points, so forgive me if I don't, but you've definitely set my brain into action! A good thing.

I guess I had imagined using the sessions to explore the same topic as my other therapist and I are trying to cover, but just in a different 'medium' so to speak. If I could afford once a week with her as well then I absolutely would, but I can't, sadly. I guess I had imagined that once a month would give me enough support/guidance to allow me to continue 'creating' at home. I have an art journal which I have used in the past (actually I've done a fair bit of art journalling, especially in the early days of my therapy before Ex T) but I'm not using it for some reason. Actually, trying to write my reasons for doing this and I can't come up with anything better than "it just feels like the right thing to do!", But I have learnt over the last few years that I can trust myself way more than I ever thought I could.

You are so right about the 'therapist knows best' thing. I even said to my T last session I think, that it's almost outrageous that in a profession that goes on about 'client autonomy' and 'gaining independence' there are still Soooo many examples where the therapist does what they think best for the client without due regard to what the client feels is best for them. But like you say, that's another thread.

I know from past experience that if I am offered a way out of vocalising things, I will generally take it. This is a problem for me because one of my goals is to give a voice to what happened to me. To speak the words. To actually speak out about it first to my T and then to my other half and then, if I choose to, to my family and the person who did those things to me.

That's why the current therapy (it is gestalt, not that that means anything to me really!) is instinctively where I want to spend more of my time, because it is talk therapy. Because it seems to be driving towards that goal more so than 'hiding behind' a medium that I know to offer me a way out of actually talking.

That said, I feel I want the art therapy sessions because it is such a big part of my process, and I feel it is lacking in my other sessions with my T. The space is tiny and there is no desk; it just isn't set up for it sadly, and she doesn't seem to be trained in working creatively anywhere near as much as my old T was.

It's an interesting thought though, whether I should maybe go and see this lady, and think about the possibility of committing to full sessions with her, or another art T. Whether all my needs could be met in one place after all. Thank you.

But you are right, I am confused. I asked a specific question but she answered like a politician. I feel like I need a specific answer, but she hasn't provided that and therefore I feel I can't move forwards. In a way I am wary about seeing someone who doesn't appear to have experience or confidence in working like this, for sure. It reminds me of Ex T, who I would swear had no experience in working the way we did, but who seemed totally confident in it nonetheless.

Anyway, thank you again, I really appreciate your time and your thought!