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Apr 22, 2022, 12:03 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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So I have an hour to figure out what to do. Take some Seroquel? Some Zyprexa? Maybe 2 Doxepin would work (one didn't)? My therapist is concerned about my paranoia, as am I. I'm having a list of damned manic symptoms all mixed in with PTSD crap...anger/rage, violent revenge thoughts, triggering myself by looking at porn (I despise porn, all it looks like to me is people in emotional pain, but that's why I'm looking at it - because I can relate to their pain), oh the list goes on. Bottom line, I need an AP and I'm stuck for the week-end. At least I have my "home pharmacy." *shakes head*
That bi*ch's supervisor sent a letter to me, which I received tonight. He was kind, of course pretty neutral, I did intuit...a sense of frustration from him regarding his clinic not yet having hired an on-site psychiatrist. He wished me well with my new provider. Said he's taking my complaint very seriously and that I should know that. Anyway, I appreciate that the dude replied to me very promptly. He's been kind in the past.
I'm sending love all around ~ each one of you is amazing! I feel so fortunate to know you. 
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Okay. I would like to rely on the Doxepin tonight, but I admit that I need an AP right now, anyway. So I'm going to take 50mg. of Seroquel. And OMG, I just realized I have to do a fasting blood lab. My appointment is at noon. Okay. Driving is an issue because I keep thinking cops are following me and may even come to my door. If they take me to the hospital there is NO ONE to take care of Sidney. I absolutely must be safe at home to care for her. Sooo...if I have to change the blood lab until next week the world will not end. I'll just see how I'm feeling in the morning. I have got to pull myself together. Something good about taking the Seroquel last night is that finally the miserable migraine went away. The thing about my T is that while she's not absolutely fabulous for regular therapy - not terrible, just average - but during a crisis she is stellar. Grrrrr....I guess the sooner I take the meds, the better. Sorry I'm not shutting up here. Okay, okay, good-night. xoxo
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Last edited by *Beth*; Apr 22, 2022 at 12:25 AM.
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