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Originally Posted by whatever2013
Today was awful. I'm not getting the fantastic response to the Wellbutrin that i got last time. I know it's only the second day but before i felt better almost instantly.
My idiot older sister posted something to Facebook with enraged me. It was a quote about how being healed is a choice we make on a daily basis. Wha? So, i CHOOSE to have bipolar? She's such a j@ck@$$. I left an 'angry' emoticon but i doubt i'll hear anything about it. She's such a fool, always has been.
My experiment with meal replacement and protein drinks has ended in failure because i keep getting stomach aches. I think it's because they're too milky. It doesn't matter that much as i was not feeling any better on them, no improvement in energy or anything else. They were expensive too.
In good news, i managed to do a load of laundry, take a shower i was overdue for, play Scrabble and do the garbage.
Just feel so sh!tty.
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Hi whatever2013. I may try to find some time to myself in NYC, but it will likely be brief. As for my husband and me, we've since lost the anger and frustration. Neither of us stay angry at each other for long. Never have. I think 11 hours in a row is our record these past 25+ years.
I'm sorry your sister upset you by her Facebook posting. Since you know her, I assume you fully understood how her statement was meant. Or if she wasn't referring to you specifically, perhaps she should realize such a statement can be completely untrue and/or misapplied, and therefore possibly offensive. Especially in absence of context! I think it falls into a category of statements that can go either way, but again, needs context. I agree that illness (like bipolar disorder) is often beyond our control. However, there are indeed times and ways when healing is partially a choice. On a daily basis? Maybe or maybe not. As a general mind frame, yes sometimes or to some degrees. I can say that acceptance is a first choice we make that helps (to some degree) in healing. Determination another. Patience. Not giving up hope. Tolerance. Self love/mercy. Attempting to reframe how we see various things and challenges (think CBT). Working to concentrate on, savor, prioritize, value, push towards things that are "healthy" and real (think DBT). For me, these choices did make a difference. And it's all a work in process (sometimes a wretched tough one) to help the continuation/maintanence/promotion. Every day that I can! After any and all slips backwards. Days I can't? That's OK. There are other days. However, me throwing in the towel permanently? Unacceptable!