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*Beth* · Apr 23, 2022, 12:08 AM

I have been both looking forward to and dreading writing on this thread. It's going to take a lot of work I'll probably have to break it into separate posts. Well, I'll just avoid going into an immense amount of detail.

Holotropic Breathwork, Jane? Here's my experience with that.....

When I was 18 I was living with my future husband. He followed (still follows) a spiritual path called "A Course in Miracles." It's a set of 3 books, 2 of which are very thick and dense. The material is supposed to have been channeled through a woman (Judith Skutch) by Jesus. (Okay, there really is some wonderful stuff in the Course, but Jesus.....? Who knows.)

Anyway, David and I were regularly attending a Course in Miracles group. The woman who facilitated the group was a very special person. Truly. One day she invited David and I to go with her to a friend's house in Larkspur. Larkspur is in Marin County (northern California, not far from San Francisco) and is one of the most wealthy towns in the nation, along with some other towns in Marin County. The reason I'm mentioning that is because Marin County is a haven for The Rich & Famous.

So David and I, our friend, and some friends of hers drove to this absolutely breathtaking house in Larkspur. It was on top of a hill close to the ocean. The house was multi-level, sprawling all over the place, redwood hot tubs, a pool, incredible landscaping, magnificent redwood trees on the property, on and on. Unforgettably gorgeous.

Okay, so the place was packed with people and while I deeply appreciated the beauty of the environment I very quickly picked up the vibe that there was a whole lotta schmoozing and name-dropping going on. Everybody was trying to impress everybody. Wine flowed, coke and pot were plentiful for anyone who wanted to imbibe. Who knows what else, my guess is that psychedelics were to be had, if so desired. Tables of food, and plenty of half-dressed or undressed people running around the redwood hot tubs and around the pool.

Alright, I could write a book. So I'll skip further description and get to the point. There were 3 people at the party who were the "stars of the show." They were Stan Grof, his wife Christina, and Jerry Jampolsky. People were flocked around the Grofs, and Jerry J. was sitting on a window seat with a semi-circle of women sitting at his feet, gazing up at him and hanging on his every word.

Okay, all 3 - the Grofs, Jampolsky - I know they've done some revolutionary work in the field of mental health. All three clearly very bright, thinking human beings. People I call "limousine liberals" - they really do care about others...they just care about themselves first in a rather (cough, cough) narcissistic manner.

The party went on the way parties do, and so many people! I felt awkward; I was only 18 and everyone else was older. I was a different generation. I wasn't one for azz-kissing and I truly sucked at such things as being a flirt. For one thing, that was some years prior to medication and individual therapy (as opposed to the "rap groups" that were popular). I was working hard at holding myself together mentally in those days. Well, I still am, haha.

At some point Jerry Jampolsky spotted me and invited me to attend a Holotropic Breathing workshop that he was giving with Stan Grof.

I was intent on, very serious about, "working through my stuff" in almost whatever way the opportunity presented itself to me. So a few weeks later I went to the Holotropic Breathing workshop. I laid on the carpet (I remember that it was dark green and not very soft) with a group of people who were also lying on the carpet. Stan Grof was leading the thing and Christina Grof was participating. There was another man helping out, but I don't recall his name. Jerry Jampolsky was kind-of...observing.

For 60 minutes I submitted myself to doing Holotropic Breathwork (which to me felt like a fancy way of saying "hyperventilating"). 60 minutes. Altered state is right! I don't understand why people didn't straight up pass out from breathing like that. At one point Jampolsky came over to me, squatted down on his knees and pressed his hands really hard into my upper chest while I was doing the breathwork. I remember feeling odd, partly because he has his hands right above my breasts and partly because I felt like he was going to fracture my collarbone.

I remember how absolutely relieved I was when I left that awful experience. I feel lousy to say bad things about those people, but frankly I think they'd done waaaaay too much acid back in the day.

If that were today? HA. I would have stood up and left 5 minutes into that silly "therapeutic" practice.

So. There's my first Whack Therapy experience. I have to add that after that day I threw out the books by the Grofs that I owned. Spiritual Emergency, my azz.