So my sister is in pain because I am not there for her. I on the other hand am overwhelmed by her need to constantly be in contact. We talked about it and agreed that from now on, I would initiate contact. That being said, she seemed more needy afterwards, writing me on whatsapp a lot, wanting to have a call while I was at our mother's. We did do the call, but I said I needed to go after 15min, which was way to soon for her.

Now there was an instance, in which I was clearly in the wrong. I won't bore you with the details, but I had agreed to take her son overnight and then something came up and now I can't.
That being said, I am tired of her. I know I should apologize more, but I feel that while her anger is appropriate in this instance, it is not overall. I also find it useful, as her pushing me away is resulting in me being more free. So I don't want to do the right thing and grovel, because that might just result in her being all needy again, and I prefer keeping her at a distance.

She called me unempathetic and callous. I don't agree. I have empathy, but I don't have to constantly put her needs above mine. So maybe this realtionship has finally run it's course. She would hate it, and I would be a little sad, but I have a very limited need for contact and her constant need was making me lose friends, because all my time and energy was spent in the relationship to her (which was never enough for her and always too much for me).

So I'm wondering if it's okay for me to use her anger in relation to that thing as an out. I mean, I don't even feel like explaining it. Just like not calling her again. It's not the right thing to do, but calling her to tell her that I've had enough is probably not great either, right?

I guess I'm wondering if you guys have any tips of how to communicate this, or if I should even communicate it at all. I'm just really tired of this entire thing and if I didn't have my therapist here, I might just move away again, just to get away from all this entangled mess.