@BethRags:

I'm sorry to hear you are so upset about your medical records. Hopefully you had a good sleep and things look brighter today. What about just simply discussing your concerns about your medical records with your new doctor? Any decent doctor will want to do their own assessment anyways. It's their medical license at stake and they're real serious about that.

And i agree with Soupe, that there is a world of difference between dependence and addiction. I'm also a long-time benzo user and you may recall last year i had to conclude the best i could do was harm-reduction, i couldn't achieve abstinence. I think it's still worthwhile, i've reduced my use 75% and i'm waking up at a reasonable hour now.

Anyways, hope you're feeling better today!