My Support Forums - View Single Post - I snooped a look at my wifes phone...huge regrets now

CANDC · Apr 25, 2022, 09:21 PM

@silverrenaud I am sorry that your feelings of betrayal or doubting your wife's motives are troubling you. Since it is not possible to know another person's intentions, I think for me it is better to assume that I cannot change another person and what they do.

If I cannot change their actions and intentions, then to me it is best to my mind to assume the best until I find unmistakable evidence otherwise. If I confront my partner with suspicions that are not really happening, they may feel betrayed by me. If they are doing things that may eventually change the nature of our relationship, then there is nothing I feel I can do. I might have a discussion with them in general about how they think my relationship with them is.

I have seen situations where a person is compelled by mental health challenges like bipolar mania which can demand a person express things that they normally would not express.

So I think non reaction is best. I would consider taking steps to solidify and secure my position. Some examples of that are having a separate account with a year or two of expenses that I eventually establish. I would have a plan A and plan B in case my relationship changed or dissolved. Having a therapist sounds like something I would do also to have a person that I can confide in, especially if candid conversations with my partner is no longer possible.

I would work out my feelings and thinking in a forum like this or with a therapist so I might finally come to accept the changes in my relationship. This is not easy but to me it is better than starting confrontations that leave me feeling hurt and confused.

Hope you find the support you are looking for. @CANDC