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Apr 26, 2022, 12:17 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Doing some grounding helped to bring me back into this time and place, more or less. The sleep problems definitely are not helpful...but much of that goes right back to that doctor's mistreatment of my symptoms. When I was with my therapist today she told me that she has other clients with bipolar disorder who are having problems with the same woman. The problem is that she refuses to diagnose people with bipolar disorder...she's not a psychiatrist, but is a DO, so medication is not her first choice of treatment. My T is definitely going to bat for me. I feel terribly betrayed by a clinic I trusted with my mental healthcare. Due to my situation with that woman, the way she yelled at me and so on, I've been extremely dissociative and having flashbacks, etc. When those things hit it is as though I am not at all 59, but fifteen, or seventeen, or eight. The experience is frightening, to say the least.
It's warm tonight. Something I like about being on the 2nd floor is that I can open my bedroom window at night. It can't be reached except with a ladder.
My son, Noah, and my DIL were possibly coming by today, but he did the 100 mile bike ride and was totally wiped out. He said, "Mom, I realized I'm not in my 20's anymore!"  He's all of 33. Oh, dear. I was sad, though.
Well, I'm going to put myself in the shower to get refreshed and try to sleep. My new med provider cancelled our appt. for tomorrow  ; I'm kinda stuck with taking whatever I have on hand to help me sleep.
Beautiful, sweet daisies all around for you, and you, and you, and...
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