Hi I am pretty new here so I hope you don't mind me jumping in.. I have to say to be in an abusive relationship the abuse doesn't have to be all the time.. I am sure in the in between times that he isnt being abusive I am sure your memories are very clear of the times you are.. I have been in a very abusive relationship for 9 years. 2 years of trying to get away with my children but he uses my children to keep me abroad... He is very scary when he wants to be.. Everytime he has abused me or our children I have apicture that has been imbedded.. I cannot forget.. I remember eacha nd every time..
You need help.. But one of my mistakes was not going to the womans shelter.. If I had things would be very different today..
So here I am still here.. Try counselling and whatever you need to do.. You are very lucky to have a mom that cares and is aware of these signs.. My mom always takes his side and says this is normal way for men to act.. Hugs.. be carefull what you decide and how you go about it.. you need the right people behind you.. especially when it involves your children...