I have to go to my PHP. The dr is there. Honestly I don’t think this is a med issue, I’m on like 6. I think it’s an explosion of the reality of a past trauma in my mind and my brain is reacting accordingly. Trying to trip me up. Trying to tell me I’m not real so I can feel like nothing bad happened cause I’m not even a real person.

I know that sounds a little iffy but I think it’s true.

Anyway I refuse to go IP unless they take me kicking and screaming because it will ruin my relationship with RS and also my son. And I’m pretty sure I’d be forced into ECT or long term hospital. Or residential. All bad options.