I'm super anxious. I went out to dinner which I didn't want to do. I tried using the skills I learned in therapy but my mind just was blank and I was in freeze mode. My mom and brother met my aunt and her husband at some small resturant that had basic american food and a lot of seafood options. The food was not good at all. I ordered a $12 grilled cheese and I can get better grilled cheese from a fast food place for $2.50. There was a couple screaming banshee kids behind us. They almost seemed autstic or something the way their mom was letting them go on. I honestly didn't mind since I felt like it drew attention away from myself. But besides the kids it was pretty much empty and no one was paying attention to me. I felt like the waitress was staring at me when I sat down and I pulled my hoodie down to cover what wasn't there. Anyways I've now had my Geodon and my 20mil melatonins and I brought my 12 pound weighted blanket with me. I didn't eat much today and I am exhausted from not sleeping much and doing more then I normally do. I hope I sleep decently tonight. I am so concerned about working again.