I am now on campral and should be getting antabuse soon. I hope it all works out. I don't really want to drink again but there is also a part of me that does. Though the worst part is drinking for negative reasons.

There are two types of reasonings for me to drink. 1 is because I think it will be fun. To me not drinking again is kind of a shame, but I'd rather find ways to have the same fun without alcohol. The reason it is fun is because it gets rid of my social anxiety so I can really interact with people, and I really enjoy interacting with people.

The 2nd reason for drinking is to cope with depression or being triggered. I live in a toxic environment that triggers me a lot. This is much harder thing for making me quit. I can white knuckle it when it comes to not drinking for fun, but trying not to drink when triggered seems impossible for me. Any advice?

Anyhow, if I don't skip out on antabuse it should really end my drinking I hope. The campral seems to help with cravings a little bit but the previous two things I talked about still apply and it doesn't solve those completely. I imagine it would work perfectly if it was just pure alcoholism that had nothing to do with anxiety or being triggered at all.