Here I am preparing for therapy tomorrow. It's funny because I can remember when I was first seeing T--or at least the first 8 months or so--I used to completely freak out about sessions.

I never thought I had to prepare and just sort of let the mood take me. Now I have things I like to share with him--poetry I have written, pictures I have drawn--I come prepared to pick up the thread of my therapy. I guess in the beginning we were weaving the thread. Now, it's holding us together.

I do still get mild anxiety before therapy and I'm trying to sort that out. It's situational--depending on what we're working on and which part of me is in the driver's seat.

OMG NOW I REMEMBER WHY--ON the phone on Friday I told him about that dream I had where he called me (yeah, that will never happen) and told me that he would be hugging me occasionally if that was okay with me. Of course I had to tell this on the phone, but now I have to face him.


So I've decided to propose tomorrow. I will tell him that despite the recent spate of ruptures, that we must elope. We can go to the Justice of the Peace around the corner. Oh, wait a minute, we're both married already. Dang.