I try so hard but no one gets me. None of my word are meaningful. I'm disconnected almost completely.

It's like I'm becoming someone, falling into a place that I'm resisting. It's like a sick twisted joke. My awareness isn't fully there. I'm not anyone.

I want to thrive. But I can't. It's all changed. I get knocked down, every time. Why am I still even alive?

My family would be devastated if I died. I'm tired. All I do on here is explain the same thing over and over again - And still, no one knows what I'm talking about.