So you say she is a good person yet you describe the most asinine and selfish behaviors that your spouse exhibits. Hhmm In which way is she a good person?

I agree with a couple of people who stated there is more to it than depression. She needs to be evaluated to find out if perhaps there is more tk it. .

I understand that you might be staying in this mess because of money and kids etc but then stop hoping she will change. She will not. And why would she? She can afford this lifestyle of leisure and treating her husband in every bad way she chooses. It’s a luxury to live how she does treating her husband like trash, sleeping all day or other asinine things she does, but she does it because she can. As long as you are tolerating it, she’ll behave in this manner.

And of course she refuses counseling. No third party would support her outrageous behaviors. She isn’t stupid. She knows her behaviors are unacceptable. She doesn’t sound like someone who is interested to hear anything about having to improve.

I recommend therapy for yourself. You can’t change other peoples. But you can work on yourself