It's clear that you are committed to your marriage even in difficult times. I'm reminded of something I learned several years ago.... I can't provide the best care to others if I don't take care of me first. I agree with those who suggest you find support for yourself even if your wife refuses.

We cannot control, manage or change someone else, no matter how much we want to. We can only do those things for ourselves. Getting support for you is one way to take care of yourself. Another point to consider in seeking care and support for yourself is that you deserve much more happiness than you are currently getting. A good therapist can help you find a balance between what you feel obligated to do for your wife, and what should be done to support her. Sometimes support becomes enabling because it seems like more love, more caring, more devotion will fix things. Sometimes though, it robs our loved ones from taking personal responsibility and the opportunity to take care of themselves.

I hope you and your wife both receive the support you need.