Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty
That does suck about the stimulant. I get mine when I am in the hospital but they give it to me late. I usually take it at like 4 AM or 5 AM and then at the hospital I don't get it until like 8 AM or 9 AM. That' s frustrating.
I don't want you to have to pretend to be okay! I want you to feel okay! Can you try some meditation? Or distraction? Or a gratitude list? Have you been on a hike lately? Are you getting outdoors enough? Are you petting on your kitty cat?
You are so smart and so thoughtful of others, and kind and sensitive. I'm so sorry you are hurting so much, my friend.  |
Thanks <3
Yes.. I do all of the healthy things.. Meditation last night (Failed cuz my mom interrupted me to watch Netflix together - It was about a mother losing her son with schizophrenia to suicide). I cried. Then told my mom what I've been dealing with.
My mom is so incredibly smart. Smarter than me. She has a law degree and was a nurse. The stories she tells are incredible (A little dramatic - But that's OK). She has an incredibly rare form of BPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder).
My dad is an asshole but my shaman. I don't get the complexity of the world from social media etc.. I should have not been ignorant and done so many research chemicals. But I've learned from it - Now I read, listen to podcasts - Do all of the healthy things..
The healthy things.. I went for a run yesterday as well... I had a cold shower. I can't keep track of these goals. I am certainly on the right path. Because of the psychedelic/near death experience. It took one night - More horror than every day experienced from psychosis/OCD intrusive thoughts.
I forget what I was gonna say...
"Schizophrenia" is an illusion - Like free will.. Or karma... Losing touch with legit reality is a paradox. Reality is a paradox. You can go either way. Solipsism, God, religion, spirituality..
I made a gratitude list.. 50 or so things.. I can't think of much more - Apart from lists that I find on the internet (Stuff that I never even realized and took for granted). My mind expanded too much that my skull opened up and brain fell out... I have to chill.. Pretending to be OK is all I can do - Because that is also an illusion! People can think/feel in any direction based on 1 second ago change.. It's all about perspective (That's why gratitude is a good thing...)..
We'll be going hiking next week. I just need to get through work this weekend and my psychiatrist appointment. My current psychiatrist is really good - He treats me like an equal. He knows that I know what I'm talking about and that I'm honest.. too honest.. But it works..
My cat is so empathetic.. She reads me and tilts her head like an alien.