Hey - new to this forum with a question. I know that I don't have any full blown type of eating disorder, but I'm starting to wonder about where the line between normal healthful eating changes and something more concerning. I've always been a healthy weight, but back in October, I gained about 3 pounds - had been traveling more, eating poorly, and exercising less. I reverted to what had worked for me before - writing down every morsel I eat and calculating every calorie. It worked - I've lost about 15 pounds, putting me at the low end of a normal BMI. I think I eat an okay amount, though I'm very active, exercising 6-7 days a week. I'm generally satisfied with my weight, though I wouldn't mind dropping another 5 pounds or so. I give myself a little leeway in that when I'm out with friends, I'll try and eat more normally, but stick to a few "safe" foods at home.

I guess my concern is that I'm starting to panic more when I can't know exactly how many calories I've eaten or when I have an "off" day. I went to a cookout yesterday and ate way more than usual, didn't binge exactly, but definitely more than my norm. Last night and today I felt like my life was totally out of control. I'm starting to dread friends suggesting we go out to dinner, because then I can't exercise after work and I'll end up eating more than I normally would.

Suddenly this seems to not be about food or weight, but about control, which I'm aware is the major issue with eating disorders. Thinking about not writing down what I eat causes major anxiety. There are a lot of changes going on in my life, and maybe this is showing up now as a way to cope.

Anyway - any input would be appreciated. Anyone with similar experiences?

Thank!