I wish I could just live on a beach for a year - Surfing, fishing, having fires, popping champagne, drinking coconut rum..

Maybe.. if I somehow make money online (Possibly if I stick with crypto...), I just need to make a little money to see if I can do it..

It would be cool to just be ON THE GO, all of the time.. Moving, flying, driving.. Good friends - But more introverted as well.. No night clubs.. Occasional raves and concerts are OK.

I couldn't make a blog.. cuz I feel like everything to be said is already out there. It's like being a musician. I tried writing poems/songs - And it doesn't really come natural to me (I thought it did - but nope). Writing self help blogs - Is about wisdom from people that were born with it or had much more life experience than me.

To be busy, enjoying things.. I need to be alone - Like when people come to the house to visit, I come out and talk and then go back to my computer back and forth. I need a safe place always or a home to go back to as well.

I'm not good at socializing or making connections.. I feel like I need to be more independent and grow into being outside of comfort and having my mom do everything for me. Slowly, I make my own appointments - But even hanging out with friends, my mom ruined that and tainted my mind as if they were f ups. It's like the psych ward - Some people just make a lot of mistakes.. A pattern.

I want to be free.