I personally don’t think that introspection and thinking in one’s head is helpful. I think it leads to rumination. Personally I think that doing things is more helpful, like exercising, taking up hobbies. For me, the helpful thing about therapy wasn’t gaining any understanding of my past, but the relationship with the therapist. I’m sorry, that’s not an option for you. But I do think that the things we do can be really therapeutic, and can help us to feel and think differently.