I had a rough day today. I was awoken in the early hours by violent thunderstorms. Thunderstorms scare the crap out of me. I had a nightmare based on the thunderstorm. The storms went on for an hour or so so I had a very fitful early morning until about 5:45am. I had another nightmare when I went back to sleep. This was a emotion flashback. I hate those.

Very depressed most of the day. I checked in as non-compliant on my meds so obviously my clinician found out. All she said was I should wait for the dr. I don’t care and I’m not going to. I’m seeing the dr sometime this week anyway.

I thought I’d be ok to drive on the highway but I’m still not. I spaced out and missed my exit. I went to what used to be the dollar store but is now the $1.25 store lol but it was wrecked. Like people had been tearing the shelves up all day and no one had been bothering to fix them up. Which is true, I’m sure.

I’m thinking of getting a part time job at the other (nicer) dollar store though. When I move down to IOP. It will be good to have somewhere simple to go and have some income, however little it may be. I don’t care about jerk customers, can’t be worse than jerk kids right? It’ll ease me back into working next year. I just have to tell them I can’t lift heavy boxes. I can get a dr note if needed but I doubt they’ll want one. It’s tough to work full time with this emotional upheaval but I think a few hours a week would help me feel like I’m at least contributing to the household and not just draining our savings. Plus I won’t have to apply for short term disability. It’s such a pain in the ***.