In my logical mind I know that talking about these things in that space, with you, does not necessarily mean the destruction of my world. It feels like it, but I know that it isn't, so maybe that is on of the first steps. To be able to talk to you about it, without the use of all the metaphors and analogies that you so rightly note that I use to keep it at arms length, safe. Must admit that also feels a long way off, but maybe it's doable, at least. First step though? To be able to look at you. To know what this person I'm supposed to be trusting with my inner most secrets actually looks like.