Hi tigger, I'm not sure I have any words wiser than Yaowen's are. Please try to forgive yourself for how you've treated your dear friend. Have you spoken with her yet to ask how she's feeling and explain how you're feeling?
The drinking of course is destructive, especially along with meds. But you know that. As for the prostitute, meh- like Yaowen pointed out people have done much, much, much worse things!
I know that extremely unpleasant sensation of being checked out of reality as your system struggles to restabilize.
I am so sorry your boss was an arse. That is rotten.
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