otroo I understand how you feel. I lost my husband earlier this month. I still can't believe he's gone. I too have lost weight because of it. I also agree with CANDC, routines do help. I am still having difficulty with eating regular meals, but having a routine helps. I still work and have wonderful friends at work that are there for me if I need to talk. Talking with people about how you are feeling can be very helpful. I do hope you have some family or friends you can lean on. I have some wonderful friends who check in with me to see how I am doing. I also try to get out of the house occasionally and see them in person. I believe it has helped me. Please reach out to someone, anyone, and let them know how you feel. Grief counseling may be a place to start. I am so sorry for all the losses you have experienced. I hope you find the healing energies you need to get you through this difficult time.