Yeah same. I feel like I'm slowly entrenching to the hospital. I have a vacation planned to Greece in the fall. I don't want to go - And I love to travel. Idk wtf is happening with this reality. All I'm doing is hanging onto life.

And some people have it good - Like me. I wonder, wtf happens if my parents dies, my brother, sister.. What will they do? I've had many dreams of being in a technological, drug infested wasteland or alien civilization on another planet... I feel like that's where I'm destined.. It slowly just creeps up on anyone, and will for all.

But I'll always be empathetic and understanding to everyone, look on the bright side, and try. With support, every good thing. That's what doesn't die. Suffering comes and goes as well so idk

My whole family hurts when I'm like this. I don't want to cause them pain - And it's the same for you likely. I can't help it.