Also, this - being with him, has been really nice. But I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm more insecure sometimes. I compare my life with his and his daughters. Its weird. Its uncomfortable. I don't know why this is my inner experience. I just know I was quite happy and empowered when I was single. If I were to end it, I'd need to think long and hard about it first, and give it time. Bc I do like him. A lot. He's great. Except for what I posted here.

Edit: I may need to write a pros and cons list (there are pros and cons I have not listed here). And give this time. But I feel so put off, like, SO put off, by the fact that people in his life know that I am nervous about meeting them, that I just want to run the **** away. And it is possible that I might. That is where I am at tonight.