Your goals are for you to choose.

It is perfectly okay for you to care about him.

You must choose what you have to do to take care of first priorities. Refusal to choose is a choice. I'm glad you found a counselor. You need support. The responsibility for resolving your situation is yours.

I've known parents who've barred alcoholic/addicted sons from their homes. These were sons they loved. If they could buy a solution, they would spend plenty. They've had to say, "No. Our home is not a place where anything goes. You cannot hang around here drunk/high/stoned. Go be where that is what goes down. Find a hangout where that is par for the course."

Loose the term "codependent." It serves no purpose. 12 step programs often discourage dwelling on that label. It's a distraction . . . a rationalization. Think more concretely.