Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Your goals are for you to choose.
It is perfectly okay for you to care about him.
You must choose what you have to do to take care of first priorities. Refusal to choose is a choice. I'm glad you found a counselor. You need support. The responsibility for resolving your situation is yours.
I've known parents who've barred alcoholic/addicted sons from their homes. These were sons they loved. If they could buy a solution, they would spend plenty. They've had to say, "No. Our home is not a place where anything goes. You cannot hang around here drunk/high/stoned. Go be where that is what goes down. Find a hangout where that is par for the course."
Loose the term "codependent." It serves no purpose. 12 step programs often discourage dwelling on that label. It's a distraction . . . a rationalization. Think more concretely.
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Thanks. it’s okay to care about him, and it’s impossible for me not to. I’ll be working on goals at my next appt and hopefully the counselor will guide me because I’m stuck swirling. I know I’m a good mother even though I haven’t modeled a healthy relationship, which would make me a great mother. My kids are wonderful people, but due to nature and nurture they have a lot of anxiety and are hard on themselves. My daughter says I have too low self esteem to get out of an embarrassing and annoying situation. We’ve been together so long it’s hard to make the relationship status change.